Tuesday, September 9, 2008

What happens when I use routines

So I had some 1 on 1s the past few days, for those of you who don't know, a 1on1 is like a personal bootcamp with me. Anyways, I always make sure to practice what I preach when it comes to the material I teach guys, normally I never use routines, but when im teaching I always do to show students that they work.

Anyways, in this situation I told my student to use the moustache opener because he told me he was thinking of growing one anyways. Of course I offered to demo the opener so he could see that it worked, thing is, I hate using routines so I always try to improvise stupid things into them to see if I can make fun of the girls and also handicap myself. I spotted 4 cute girls at a table and walked over.

Cajun: Hey what do you guys think about moustaches?
Girl1: They're gross...
Cajun: No I mean on guys though..
Girl1: ...What?
Girl2: ahahaha!
Girl3: Are you growing a moustache?
Cajun: Yeah, me and my friends are, for charity.
Girl4: What charity?
Cajun:.....the Burt Reynolds foundation for testicular cancer.
Girl4: What? Does he even have testicular cancer.
Cajun: (dead serious) No he has something called "cheddar cock"
Girl2: WHAT! hahahahah!
Cajun: Don't laugh, thats just the slang name, its apparently really serious, he might die.
Girl1: What is it?
Cajun: Well...its like these little orange mushrooms grow all over his foreskin.
Girl3: WHAT!?
Cajun: Yeah and apparently they taste like cheddar hence the slang name.
Girl2: (between fits of laughter) How do you know what they taste like!?
Cajun: I don't, he just posted that on his blog.
Girl1: Who did?
Cajun: Burt Reynolds...

Girl 2 is pretty much crying laughing right now, girl 1 (ugly) looks pissed, and the other 2 seem to believe what im saying.

Girl3: How do you get charity for growing a moustache?
Cajun: Well I grow it then donate it.
Girl4: Donate the moustache...
Cajun: (trying as hard as I can to appear dead serious) Yeah, you know guys who get chemotherapy, all their hair falls out, so I grow a moustache for them, donate it, and then they stick it on their lip with some scotch tape or something and then nobody knows they have cancer.
Girl4: You might be the most fucked up person i've ever met.
Girl2: I love him, he's hillarious! Drink with us!
Cajun: I should go make sure my friends are having fun without me, ill be right back...

Hahahah I love doing shit like this. Anyways, girl2 was a singer in a rock band and pretty hot, I ended up getting her number later on. My student still thinks im insane.

10 comments:

JD said...

Wow!

2 recent posts contradict each other.

1st post; refers to a "secret routine" about to be revealed.

2nd post: Cajun states he doesn't like using "routines."


No Entiendo.

bobby rio said...

LOL You're freaken hilarious man! I tend to just make shit up on the spot to. Usually more to get my friends laughing than pick the chick up... but some how it works anyway.

If I make it to the Super Conference next month you're on a short list of guys I have to see in action. You've got a style I dig!

sweet dick vega said...

sweet.

how much do your 1on1's go for?

funkyvega (at) gmail (dot) com

annarbormonk said...

whatever happened to the online guide you were going to write like last year? i'm looking forward to reading that, your blog posts alone were quite valuable to my game! Also, your links to lovesystems are broken on the page--just thought you'd want to know

Jiron said...

How much does a 1 on 1 with you cost? I hope that doesn't sound gay!

M said...

Another classic post.

Cajun said...

For those of you asking about 1on1s check the "about me" section on the left side of my blog.

And im not contradicting anything, the secret routine isnt really even a routine, its more like a game, and its different everytime, plus its really fun, so I don't get bored of it. Fuck you guys.

Cajun said...

errr right side of my blog, whoops!

Anesteziolog said...

ahahah wicked! Just tried this on my 16 years old sister, she almost pissed her pants. Cant wait to go to the field.
It's a pity you motherfuckers from LS never come to southern Europe

Erika said...

Cajun,

I'm not sure about "cheddar cock" as foreplay. You'd need to get that image out of my mind before I could go anywhere near the machinery... ;-)

I might like Tenmagnet's Guinness joke better: http://www.tenmagnet.com/2008/09/27/how-to-piss-off-a-bartender-in-dublin/

On the other hand, cheddar cock talk is infinitely better than this: http://awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com/2008/09/how-eft-can-take-your-game-to-whole-new.html

cheers,
Erika
www.awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com (girl perspective on pickup)